I saw a reflection of myself last week in the window of Eve’s nursery. I was hovering over her, changing her nappy, gurning like a spangled party-goer with my mouth wide open. She was just casually doing her thing of grabbing her toes and gurgling to my sheer delight. I looked happy but unhinged.
But here I am with my second – most likely last – baby and I’m staring at her like an excitable Golden Retriever would the treat jar. In many ways it’s down to the fact we had such a tough time having Evie. After five miscarriages, I think you just go to a place of exultation once they are born – regardless of what they do. She covered me in baby porridge before a big interview last week and, while my former self might have gone to a bad place, I found myself saying, “what a poppet, you naughty little poppet, you little poppet. Who’s a poppet? Evie is a poppet.” Times have, indeed, changed.
Even my mum has noticed how I’m lapping up this precious time with her. With Mae, who was my first, I spent much of those first few months simply existing and keeping her alive. I once found myself looking in the mirror to see if anyone had noticed my raging eye twitch. Another time I found myself just standing in Tesco holding a pineapple unsure how to proceed.
But this time round, it’s been full-on touch, play, eye contact, snuggles and snuffles. And changing her nappy is a great time to cash that mama-baby time in. It’s one-on-one and despite the nappy contents, I love that we have our own language around this time. (Well, I say ‘our’; again it’s mainly me gurning and singing like an idiot). It’s a chance to clean her up with gentle Huggies Pure Wipes (they are made from 99% water and natural absorbent fibres* and leave her peaches soft and smooth) and look her in the eye and say, ‘wind the bobbin UP’.
My mum used to sing Dutch songs to me when I was little and having my nappy changed and I’ve picked up where she left off. I don’t remember much about being a child but I remember her touch; I remember her presence and I remember feeling very loved. It might not be quantifiable but I’m fairly sure it left me feeling confident to take on the world as best I could.
Even if she was left resembling an overenthusiastic meerkat.
Unlike some wipes, Huggies Pure Wipes are made with natural* (absorbent) fibres and 99% pure water. They are pure and gentle for sensitive skin, while gently cleaning and protecting for naturally healthy skin. They are also safe from day one and don’t contain any phenoxyethanol, parabens and perfume for gentle, natural care.