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The urchin recently ended up in A&E with ‘nursemaid’s elbow’. Nope, we hadn’t heard of it before, either. Here’s a few common toddler emergencies Dr Stewart Berry sees every day

Elbow’s out

1, 2, 3… swing! It’s an age-old game: two parents, one toddler and a swinging motion that usually leaves them gurning like a spangled Scot after Hogmanay. But this very movement makes all doctors weep into their stethoscopes – it’s called ‘Nursemaid’s elbow’ and it’s one of the most common kiddie A&E injuries doing the rounds. In short, any swift ‘pulling’ motion can dislodge the elbow from its socket and leave you with a wailing enfant and a sharpish jaunt to A&E. Oh and it takes up to five minutes for the kid to realise what has happened so you have NO IDEA what caused it unless you had previous knowledge of this stealth ailment.

Follically-challenged

OK, so who knew a strand of hair could get so tightly wrapped around a baby’s finger (or penis – eek) and cut off circulation? It’s called hair-thread tourniquet syndrome and happens a lot. It’s like one of those unsolved mysteries – including necklaces that become disastrously entangled while stationary on your bedside table. Kid crying more than usual? Finger/toe/penis (eek, once more) look a little purple? Get that urchin to hospital – your follicles are to blame.

Slip slidin’

You see it all the time: parents merrily swooping down a slide with urchin happily chirping on lap. Well, stop! Stop now parental folk. One of the biggest causes of broken legs in kids is this exact scenario. It starts with a rubber-soled shoe on your kid and ends in a painful/unsightly heap at the bottom of this otherwise unassuming playground apparatus. If you insist on shoe-horning your derriere onto a children’s slide, make sure the urchin is fully boarded upon your lap, with no limbs/rubber soles in contact with the runway.

Anna Whitehouse

Founder of Mother Pukka, Anna Whitehouse likes super hero cape-making classes and dislikes the naming of celebrity couples (TomKat, Brange etc.) She tries (and often fails) to parent the shit out of life.

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Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

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