Star schmucks

star-schmucks

That’s a slightly unfair headline for this ode to coffee. For all their tax-related faults, I don’t think they’re schmucks. Specifically, Luigi who delivers a sterling brew every morning at the Holborn branch is a particular star.

Misspelling of ‘Mother Pukka’ aside (the first version was unprintable), I just thought coffee needed some parental thanks in the form of some really shit, badly-rhyming words. (Instagram has, I believe, reached full capacity on the casual coffee shots in a rustic hipster café.)

 

Coffee, coffee, you’re a proper mate

Like, without you, I’d always be well late

 

Caffeine, caffeine, you lighten the mood

I count on you fully for the safety of my brood

 

Coffee, coffee, we’re going proper steady

You and me, we’re, like, brand ‘ready’

 

Caffeine, caffeine, you’ve got so posh

I do love you best with a moist brioche

 

Coffee, coffee, you make me well happy

Even when faced with a catastrophic nappy

 

Caffeine, caffeine, we do have some japes

Pinot noir? Who needs grapes?

 

Coffee, coffee, you’re good until five

That’s when vodka keeps ‘em alive

 

Headline inspired by a comment from @judypink on my Instagram.

Anna Whitehouse

Founder of Mother Pukka, Anna Whitehouse likes super hero cape-making classes and dislikes the naming of celebrity couples (TomKat, Brange etc.) She tries (and often fails) to parent the shit out of life.

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Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

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